Away from home, the life of those people I love most streams away by itself, without my involvement. These people are my port but each time I'm back I fear to find it shut. If I had known before that 'leaving is a bit like dying' in the sense that you die in the hearts of your loved ones, maybe my choices in life would have been a little different. But then again, I would have probably felt the need to die anyway, to resuscitate over and over not to bear the responsibility of people's expectations.
As kids we expect our parents to be infallible and immortals: we grow up trying to accept the idea of them depending on us, and trying to feel strong and secure enough to help them now. Shouldn't a child feel strong, ready enough to play this role, any weakness in his parents would become an unbearable scream soliciting for help, a request the child would both feel desperate and inadequate to answer. I know this is a route for love to turn into hate, hugs into detachment, laughs into silences. Torn apart between need for freedom and need for protection, relationships are lines interrupted, lives suspended that could have been and will never be, memories that cannot be shared anymore and will end up vanishing from the mind.
People who betray others to feed their ego: so lacking confidence, so hungry for confirmations.
People who betray others in the desperate hunt for ways to react to disillusion, frustration, rejection.
People so scared of being abandoned that they abandon others first.
People who fear the venom of rejection so much that they poison themselves little by little, breaking others' heart when it hurts, but not too much, in the foolish fantasy that they will eventually turn immune to 'The Consequences of Love'.
People who pretend they are actually superior to common mortals. They hunt for experiences, the most extreme, in the aim to fully understand other humans. They never stop, they are beyond time and pain, they all go through without ever belonging to anyone, everything possessing, they loot love, they sack souls. They are like demons who take control of people lives to experiment what deception feels like.
As kids we expect our parents to be infallible and immortals: we grow up trying to accept the idea of them depending on us, and trying to feel strong and secure enough to help them now. Shouldn't a child feel strong, ready enough to play this role, any weakness in his parents would become an unbearable scream soliciting for help, a request the child would both feel desperate and inadequate to answer. I know this is a route for love to turn into hate, hugs into detachment, laughs into silences. Torn apart between need for freedom and need for protection, relationships are lines interrupted, lives suspended that could have been and will never be, memories that cannot be shared anymore and will end up vanishing from the mind.
People who betray others to feed their ego: so lacking confidence, so hungry for confirmations.
People who betray others in the desperate hunt for ways to react to disillusion, frustration, rejection.
People so scared of being abandoned that they abandon others first.
People who fear the venom of rejection so much that they poison themselves little by little, breaking others' heart when it hurts, but not too much, in the foolish fantasy that they will eventually turn immune to 'The Consequences of Love'.
People who pretend they are actually superior to common mortals. They hunt for experiences, the most extreme, in the aim to fully understand other humans. They never stop, they are beyond time and pain, they all go through without ever belonging to anyone, everything possessing, they loot love, they sack souls. They are like demons who take control of people lives to experiment what deception feels like.
6 comments:
Attiliuzzo! ma quando torni??!?!?ci sono un pò di novità che ti devo raccontare di fronte a una birra!un abbraccio-paoluzzo
Hi.
Very intresting.
http://ilprimopasso.wordpress.com
Amazing! This is a beautiful article. Thank u. =)
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!
quite interesting article. I would love to follow you on twitter.
attiliorapisarda.blogspot.com; You saved my day again.
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